try me.

FIRST PRIORITY:
- Read until there are 20 pages left for The Last Time They Met
- Finish re-writing conclusion for Johnson
- Type intro & bibliography        ” “
- Write intro & conclusion for Talbott
- Type argument essay        ” “

ALSO OF IMPORTANCE:
- Catch up catch up catch up in Chem
- Math hw
- Bring something nice to wear for Senior Awards Night
- Buy a portfolio for Research Project
- Study for Spanish (lol not really)

AND THEN: 
- Get $8 for Pops shirt
- Put Pops outfit together
- Sell tickets!
- Ask dad about Spanish 2 classes over the summer
- Check in with Grace about the 18th and 19th (;

I knew this would happen sooner or later.
…
Please get out of my head. I’m confused as it is and I’ve got more important things to worry about. I can’t help but sit here and let my thoughts run away from me. The more my emotions take control, my sensibility is lost. 
It’s always you.

I want to miss you, but I can’t.
I don’t want to miss you, but I do. 
Which one is it? 
Does that even make sense?

Everyone is talking about finals & summer, it’s killing me.

Teachers just deprive us of sleep the last weeks of school ‘cause they know we’ll catch up on it right when we get out.

):<

No, haha. It ain’t even worth it! Thanks though. 
And btw, I’m not saying this just to say it. It still hurts where you elbowed me. Like, it never did until today. LOL… ):

I think it’s kinda funny how you go out of your way to show how much you don’t like me. Talk about immature, though. Lol. Calm your tits, ‘cause it’s pretty obvious and I really don’t give a fuck. 

I hate it when my mood changes so quickly. It grew from bored to tired to impatient to frustrated and now just full on irritated. I want to go home, and this “Don’t worry, everything will be fine” attitude that’s going around in this house is making everything worse. Shut up, hypocrite. Think of someone besides yourself for once.

In some ways, my dad is very much a “teenager” himself. Always on the phone with his girlfriend, bringing her around everywhere. Forgetting things because he’s constantly distracted. Leaving the house out of nowhere and not telling me where he’s going or when he’ll be back. Failing to hear me the first time I ask him something then telling me to wait until he’s done on the phone. Staying out late, expecting me to get around from school and such on my own. Lol.. -___-

As long as he’s happy. 

After a rough patch in life, I always try to convince the world that I can still be happy; laughing and smiling like I should. I don’t like people stressing because of me. But over time, I can eventually accept the fact that I really am happy and there are certain things that will pass and never affect me again.

I’m gettin’ there.

Last night was som’n else… HAHA.

But today, had lovely goodmorning texts and my dad’s crazy self playing Beatles songs on the uke to wake me up. (x Showered, went with dad & Grace to Valley Fair! Spent hours walking around with my sore legs, having some time to myself.

Shoppppping went as follows:

• denim vest
• cream floral off the shoulder top
• red zipper dress
• pink & blue floral scarf
• 6 pairs of earrings for $8 :D
• Toms (in kid’s size, hahaha)
• white cropped jacket

Yay for Grace offering to pay (early birthday gift, so she says), my dad being nice, and using my own money for alla’ this ;D Oh, how I love retail therapy. HAHA.

Senior Showcase was fun too! Sat with my homequrl Sheena, hella cheering and making comments as we watched. Visiting grandmother dearest tomorrow, hopefully getting some homework done.

Hope your weekends are wonderful as well :)

Logan’s Bring It Back dance was craaackin’ though. Old faces, new faces, cute faces, alll up in one spot to party and shit. Feelin’ the grime and exhaustion in a good way. Bouta be sore tomorrow! Lolol. 

Needed a night like this. 

I LOVE ME SOME JESSICA ORTIZ THOUGH.
Princess, thank you for being such a genuine sweetheart who is always open to hear the good, the bad, the awkward, and the weird sides of me. I hate that we’ve only gotten so close towards the end of the school year. This means summer, girl! Hahah. 

Where are you when I need you the most? I feel like I’ve been pouring out my life stories to the people who care the least. It’s always so unpredictable with you. One day we’re invincible, the next we’re on opposite ends of the earth. Trust me, I’ve had my share of those kinds of situations. I miss you, a lot. As usual. And although I am independent in most cases, it still helps so much more when you’re there to just be there. 

But I realize you lead such a different life than I do. I just hope we find our way back. 

Procrastination at it’s best. First I fall asleep, then I phone for a couple hours, shower, make tracks for auditions tomorrow, and here I am at 11:06, attempting to start a conclusion paper and an argument paragraph. Both of which I have very little basis to start off of. 

Oh well. TOMORROW’S FRIDAY. <3

I hate disappointing my dad. He and I are always on such good terms, but when I happen to fuck things up and he shows that he’s upset, it honestly hurts so bad. That’s what parents have the power to do, right? To gain so much of your love and respect that it deeply affects you when they aren’t satisfied with what you’ve done.

The fact that he’s done so much for me, especially in the past year, means more than I can even explain. I have to do my best in everything, because I know that if he’s proud of me, I can be proud of myself. It sounds a little naive, but it’s true. And when we get irritated at each other, inside I still hope he can accept the things I want to do in life, even if on the outside I show a rebellious front. I’m not the most amazing daughter in the world, and yet he will always put me as a top priority. With that, I constantly strive to show him that doing so will always be worth it.

He is the one man I can always count on.

 f-uturi5tic replied to your photo: “Hiding dimples” Lulz. I woke up like this the…

you have dimples?

 Lol, no! I wish. But a certain someone once told me that when I smile there’s a hidden one ‘cause it’s small but “still counts”

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

I just… Hah, I don’t know. That was ridiculous. Outta pocket. Crazy. Kinda funny, but I was really just shocked. Who can blame her? She ain’t the only one feeling that way, and she’s got the balls to do something about it.

I hope you realize that I have barely said a word to others and people’s impressions of you have already gotten to where they are. Yeah, I know you heard her, and I know everyone was aware of what she was talking about. Yeah, it was harsh and I’m sorry that it happened so randomly, but don’t you kinda think you brought that upon yourself? It’s great that you’re happy, but you know why I can’t handle being around that bullshit.

And like I said, you just make it so damn hard for me to not hold anything against you. I honestly have no intentions of treating either of you in such a hostile manner; but apparently with the way you’re acting, other people do. Don’t blame me for people having their own opinions about you. You don’t even consider how I feel, so I guess you won’t stress about others, either. (Even if you should.)

So there you have it. I’d say sorry, but really, I don’t think I have anything to apologize for.

I honestly can’t believe this year has gone by so fast. I look back to what was only a few months ago but feels like years.. of course things have changed. I know that I can be more pessimistic nowadays, but I guess you can say that I’m going to do my best to always look forward from now on. I am still so very blessed, and though many say I could ask for better, I realize that maybe better will arrive on it’s own.

Two more weeks, and I’m just trying to get by.

I am trying my best to leave it alone. I am trying my best to be positive and to focus on myself. I am trying my best to not hold anything against you, or hate you in any way.

And yet, there you are with your shady business, acting as if it’s nothing. Sure, maybe it shouldn’t be, but the way you’re going about it is quite intolerable. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Are you asking me to say something to your face? Because, I will if it gets to that point. Just please, stop making it look like you’re intentionally trying to hurt me more than you already have. And if that’s the case, then, well.. fuck you.

But anyway.

THIS DAY WAS JUST FULL OF CONTRADICTING EMOTIONS. FORREAL.

Oh, life.

• I woke up on time because the sun was hella bright in my room.
• COLD, WHY
• awkwardawkwardawkward
• That Spanish movie in Johnson’s that gets me all distracted and depressed
• Pops is on ma miiiind
• Lol no Talbott for the day. I’m laggin.
• JAMES VU IS A MACK NIGGA
• Hahaha no words for what everyone knows and sees. Y’ALL NEED JESUS IN YOUR LIFE OR SUH’IN. But it’s allgood, at least they say things that I like to hear! Asshole. :)
• More 4th period talks with Heather.
• Lolol dramatic eye contact conversations with Jessica, Ray, and Sydney from across the room.
• Making new friends because I have to in Alg2. Loool so chill without homework, I love it.
• Ah, you make my day. Thank you <3
• There y’all go again! You’re making it really difficult for me to not hate you. Like, seriously. Keep that shit to yourself.
• Bruh, I want that Telephone solo.
• LOL, RUDE.
• I looove my class. Show Choir 2013 on m@Ma$z d0e. Haha jk. But today was fun.
• I’ma keep testing out this Sprint thing. See how it works, but I’m still not satisfied.
• Laglaglag!
• Also making my night, aha where you at doe? (x

Two more weeks.. Hella shit to get over with still, and I can do it.

COME AT ME, BRO!