Amanda Geraldo & Stephanie Franco, I love you guys. We watched both sunset and sunrise from last night to this morning. We made it with about 20 minutes of sleep. Haha (: Leaving random notes all over the hotel was cute. I really hope people actually found them and read what they said. If I saw one I would pick it up. & Although I’ve been dead since I got home, I gotta say that walking by the bay and taking millions of pictures was worth it.
Today, I spent most of my time sleeping because of my amazing morning & night.
Other than that, my parents have been arguing about anything and everything since the beginning of time. And now that they finally decided to shut up, my mom has this crazy idea that I want to talk about my birthday.
What do I want for my birthday?
I want this daily stress we call a family to change. Those times where my dad asks me what I would think about me just living with him? I say I wouldn’t blame him. I can’t. I’m done being used to the environment this “family” puts me in. I don’t talk to my mom. I give her attitude with EVERYTHING. No, I really fucking don’t know why. We never eat dinner together. It’s either my mom eating in the living room, me in the kitchen, and my dad just eating seperately all together. We skip out on most family parties now. My mom’s too tired, my dad won’t go by himself, and I just don’t have a choice. We all complain about shit that barely matters and our house is either yelling or dead silent. I can blame everything on them but it doesn’t even matter.
Living only with my parents is something that has put into everything about who I am. The way they raised me has been their choice, but now that I’m getting older I start to realize things that I can put my own opinion on. And this is how it is. So Mom, the next time you asked me what I want for my birthday, just take a look around our “home” and maybe I’ll tell you. Thank you, but please. I only want to find something better in us.
We're teenagers. We're still learning. Shit happens. We cheat, we lie, we criticize, we fight over stupid things. We fall in love and end up getting hurt. We bitch, bitch, bitch. We bitch about bitches being bitches. We party till dawn, we drink till we pass out. We hate people for no reason, we call each other names. We stay up late having deep conversations, or stay up late just to think. We go out and have a kick ass time with our friends and those will be the memories. One day that's going to all pass. You can waste your time focusing on all the bad things, but one day you're gonna wish you were still a teenager. So make the most of what you have now, forget all the bullshit and drama and live your fucking life with a sexy smile on your face.
Ms. Allan told me that we yawn because our body sends the mind signals when we have too much carbon dioxide in our blood. This happens when our body is tired or resting and we’re not getting a lot of oxygen. So we inhale a huge amount of oxygen and exhale the carbon dioxide out.
Panic! At the Disco - Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off
Is it still me that makes you sweat? Am I who you think about in bed? When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you’re sliding off your dress? Then think of what you did and how I hope to God he was worth it. When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch his skin. I’ve got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck.Than any boy you’ll ever meet, sweetie you had me. Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of. Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat? No, no, no, you know it will always just be me.
I hate it when you think too much. I hate it when you try to get too close to fucking strangers that you just met. I hate it when you honestly think you’re so much cooler than everyone else because of the people you’re suddenly best friends with. I hate that you want to be different so bad. I hate that you try too hard and you don’t even know it. I hate that you talk shit about yourself. I hate when you lie to my face. I hate when you hide things and think “it’s okay because I’ll tell you later” but we don’t even talk enough for that to happen anymore. I hate that we try to be close and it fails. I hate that you always say you fucking miss me but nothing ever happens.
& I hate that I care about you so much and I notice all these things. I want to help you, but I hate that I do nothing about it.
Human nature? No one really knows what to think. We’re set by the people who influence us, the surroundings that affect us, and the emotions that consume us. Everyone has a unique mind, and we use it to create and DO what we want. It makes us happy, content with what life gives us.
We enjoy what we have. Love, friends, family, success. Everyday we make progress, taking steps further into a more advanced future. We fill ourselves with daily pleasure, slowly making our way to the life we want to live.
We experience failure, we experience loss. Our reflexes cause us to react in different ways. We are angry, we are sad. We get jealous, frustrated, pained, and disappointed. We want to live up to our expectations, but walls are put up in defense to the things that we fear.
It’s easy to be confused. With emotions running left and right, people become more in depth with the choices they make. Things get more difficult and we want to see the world in as many ways possible. Where does that leave us? The young, the old, and the ones who just want to know. Our generation seeps deeper into the bad and the ugly of the world. I suppose that’s just the way it is. We imprint forever influences of violence, drug abuse, racial issues, images of sex and money, and the hunger for everything that will make life “better”. We want these things, living with viruses that we cannot feel.
The hypocritical thing about personalities & people in itself is that everyone wants to be different, and everyone wants to fit in. We judge, we accept, we hate, we admire. We strive for what we want, but we take everything in a sense of negativity. We want to give back, but the generation subconsciously makes us self-absorbed.
We are all unaware and lost, blinded from the bigger picture. And yet, we are “happy”.
So, I was gonna edit one of my posts 'cause it had a grammar mistake in it.
I saw it on my dashboard & gasped, so I just deleted it. I was uber disappointed for letting it slip past me in the first place. Haha. It’s like when you see a deep, meaningful post and it gets ruined by a misspelled word or incorrect grammar.
Long ass interview w/Rawdon during 1st period. Hahah, that was kinda cool. I walked out and everyone was like “FINALLY, TOOK YOU 45 MINUTES.” But w/e. Health was easy. Heard Cheever’s class yelling from the other side of the wall while they watched the birth video, LOL. Dance was something. I don’t remember what we did besides the partner stuff. Yay for Hailee (:
Theeen to Carl’s Jr. with Sheena, Lorraine and Ronnie. They all gave me change and a dollar so I wouldn’t die, haha! Played Truth or Dare for the longest time. Some funny & cute shit right there. I have writing all over my arms. :D Went home, and now I’m bout to head over to best’s house, go to Target, then the salon thiiing to get my eyebrows waxed cause it’s been waaaay to long. Lols.