If Tumblarity was still alive, my shit would be getting higher like the kids at school.
But I think it’s like a give and take thing. You make up a stupid thing like Tumblarity, cool kids get butthurt about people posting up too many things and start hating like haters. You take Tumblarity away, everyone goes crazy with liking and reblogging stuff. Love/hate relationship much?
Is coo’. I feel free to post whatever I want now. (:
Guys, I know. I’m small. I’m 4’11 and I weigh like 90 pounds. But honestly? I think that’s fine for my size. Hahaha. It’s not like I’m hella tall then skinny. Or whatever. So stop making a big deal out of it, I think I know already. Especially during the fitness testing today. I was rolling my eyes nonstop at all those other girls telling me that they’re “so fat” and whatnot.
Took my DayQuil at the right times, and was just chilllen all day. Morning classes were fine. Watched a black ass video during Health, which kinda amazed me. I really didn’t think people talked like that in real life. LOL. I ate lunch, for once. Thanks to Tina :D Computer lab during English, hence the posts at like 12 today. Fitness testing with flexibility and whatnot. Height &weight checking was hella FML for me though. Blah. >____< Show choir was alright. Good rehearsal, I wasn’t dying or anything. Kriselle got me crackin’ up about HANK though. BAHAHA. (x
Went to Palma Ceia park w/you, sat in the slides &whatnot, watching the little kids lose their soccer ball. Haha! It started raining and I’m pretty sure that we both got sick off of that )x Sorry. Walking back, it got hella cold and I ended up being like 10 minutes late to rehearsal. Jacket is still wet, up to now. Hehe. (:
So before all that happened, I took NyQuil before I left home. Now, take note that I was dying of cough and sore throat and I had nothing else! So I took it and was off on my way. By the time rehearsal started I was drowsy as fuck, and I was dancing all sluggish &such. Hahaha. Stupid, I know. But at least I wasn’t coughing. Went home, ate, and did this. I’m still hungry.
Just because my dad goes on business trips and works on certain weekends, all of a sudden I “won’t have a dad” and “our family is coming apart”. They’ve been married like 20 some years. My dad is not that stupid. And honestly, if whatever she’s thinking is true, then hell. I wouldn’t blame him for doing so. Sorry to be an asshole, but I really wouldn’t. Not with all the shit that goes on with us.
I’m tired of comparing everything from my past to what could be my future. I can’t help it, I know. But lately I can’t even figure out how I feel. About anything, really. It’s stress coming from every point in life, slapping me in the face while I do nothing about it.
With you, I can’t tell. One minute everything is fine, and the next, it’s silent, awkward feelings that have no purpose for anything at all. And I try, I do. Sometimes I wait it out, seeing if you even want to make an effort on letting me know you care at all. It’s confusing. I’m tired of pretending that it’s okay and that I’ll do all of that to create something out of us. Shouldn’t that just happen naturally?
I don’t know. Then there’s everything else, and I’m not about to go there. -____-
I’m lost, and I’m tired. I’m tired of school, of people changing the way I see them, of being so confused. I’m fucking tired of myself. And yet, I manage to feel better at random times. I don’t know what it is, but everytime I try to make things better, it just doesn’t work out. I’m bored, sad, frustrated and happy all at the same time. How is that supposed to make sense? It’s like I’m floating around in space, waiting for a speck of right mind to bump into me, making everything okay. I used to think going with the flow and letting life take it’s course was the way I wanted to work, but I just need to know sometimes.
Eventually I’ll take all this and shove it aside, and it’ll just fade away after some time. It’s not like I know what I really have to say, and I don’t know why I bother. It just makes everything all the more confusing.